mothre

I’ve figured out what to do with the body. Not exactly how yet, but some ideas are coming. It will be a funeral pyre — like a moth to flame — like a Phoenix. And the body will rest upon some dried up leaves from the flower Jessica brought me last year that dessicated inside my Tacheria notebook. And I will shred the $10 bill I found in the parking lot of Faith Lutheran Church and she will rest among that too. And there will be a “stand” of some sort for her to lie upon. And the fire will be built underneath, to burn hot and bright, to turn it all to ash.

I have her dead body sitting among my journals and books etc on the kitchen table. She is a moth. And she is my friend. She companioned me through the nights at the computer and just waited patiently on the wall during the day. I first met her (well noticed her) when she circled around the desk light to show me — yes, she is just like me and can also become very disoriented if not following the true light. Artificial lights wreak havoc on her navigational system. She would hide in the shadow behind the keyboard after that to stay out of it’s attractive, but false, glow.

I found her dead in the middle of the floor Saturday morning before leaving for Tacheria. Eric had us do an animal meditation and ask for the name of the animal. I could not think what animal to choose, but then I thought of the moth. She came to me. Told me her name is mothra. And I thought that was pretty hilarious because it made me think of some hokey 50’s science fiction movie where, as I recall, there was some horrifying moth creature. Then I learned the spelling of her name — mothre. And she flew into my heart and filled the empty space that was there. And I put my hands over my heart, and I could tell it was whole.