A Beautiful New Story (from God)

If the way is already clear, you do not need to wait for clarity. (According to the wisdom of Joy D, PS Entree.)

She got up several times during the night to write. It was heavenly – abundance, so much! Then, she awoke with her mind telling her: It is “too much.” She asked, “How can I “manage” it, choose, bring it to fruition?” The answer came right away, “Day-by-day, step-by-step (literally – go for a walk), a process of unfolding (not a product).”

So, shortly after sunrise, she got up and went for a walk. Usually she starts her walk downhill. Today she felt she was ready to go uphill. She had more “capacity.” As she walked into the sun, she sang:

morning sun, morning sun, come my way, come my way, come my way, come my way, take my pain, take my pain, take my pain, take my pain, down below, down below, down below, down below, healing waters down below.

Then she met a friend who was walking her dogs. It was a wonderful opportunity to connect and “reconcile.” It was an opportunity to release her own judgment. It is so easy for her to jump into negative judgments about just about anyone, especially herself. But, she is learning new ways, and she is so grateful to god for that, and one of those ways is the way of reconciliation.

She continued on her walk around the block, so in touch, connected, with everything. Then she started to become a bit concerned, “What if it goes away?” The first answer she heard was quite soothing, and sensible: “What if it does? You will still have many tools and insights and much will have been gained. It will be okay.” She thought this might be a good question to write about in her journal. Then, a new question came too, “What if it doesn’t go away?”

When she arrived home she made a delightful cup of chai tea, and sat down by the window to write in her journal. This is what they wrote:

What if it goes away? What if it doesn’t?

gifts are meant to be released, shared, enjoyed

I want, love this gift – how can I give it away?! Free it! Liberate it!

ask and it is given

who will ask?

can I offer, invite?

of course! who wouldn’t want to be invited to a party!

celebrate good times – come on – it’s a celebration!

Invited to a party – huh – like Abraham, like Dr. Sue Morter, like Here II Here. Get up everybody & sing!

“There’s a party going on . . . a celebration to last throughout the year . . . party with you.

we oui whee – WOW

of course!

I need not do the “hardest” thing always! It is possible to ___________ what ____? live in joy? for how long (yeah but . . .)?

So many doubts and insecurities – can I have more confidence please – confidence to allow the easier path too – as an option, at least!? please, please, pretty please!?

the “hard” path – it definitely “works” & it is possible to integrate into a life of great “suffering” – it is slower, denser, more stuck in time (it is good, fine, okay, too – just like every path!) “suffer as long as it makes you happy” works for some, &/or at some times in life

grief, e.g. – it can be short, long . . .

loss “

the “easy” path – to someone so used to the hard path – it seems too easy, can’t be this easy – hard to “trust” it – light, free, out of time – “now” – letting go – just living

each “chooses” their own “just right” unique combination.

Our culture mostly reveres the hard (difficult) path but we can learn, change, grow too – we have many teachers!

Eastern, Indigenous, New Age, Physics, Science, Technology – connection

& sometimes a person has to become very weary & worn down on the hard path before they can “see” (allow – let go – make room for) another way.

& sometimes, maybe a being is born and stays mostly on the easy path & lights (shows) the way for everyone else – (adversity did not break them)

Oprah, Mattie Stepanek, Dalai Lama

despite the huge obstacles placed in their path – the “temptations” to choose another path – they know, believe, have faith in the easy path, and do not waver, cannot be moved.

& now, in our “smaller” world, we can see that Jesus walks the earth among us still & we can be personally inspired by the living breathing Buddha Jesus Krishna on our TV!

– thank you for this beautiful story –


If I wrote a book, maybe a memoir, I would like to call it Brilliance. Of course somebody else has already done it. (It’s so easy to search Amazon and find out.) But they haven’t written about my kind of brilliance, so it would be okay.

I’m an A+ kind of a gal. Stanine 9. 95% on LSAT. You know the kind. Some people used to call us intelligent (now they know better – there are many kinds of intelligence). But I would never have called myself brilliant, especially after attending Stanford Law School and finding that my kind of smarts was pretty run of the mill and lackluster.

Most people know somebody like me. We can be kind of obnoxious at times. My husband, who I love dearly, very kindly and generously calls it “intense.”  And I think we’re a little crazy too. There’s just too much stuff going on in that head of ours. It makes us crazy!

I could have saved a lot of time, and pain, if I had just listened to Roadrunner. Animal-Speak says its keynote is “mental speed and agility,” (check), it lives in cactus and mesquite areas (check), and eats grasshoppers in large quantities (check). Let me digress a moment regarding grasshopper. I saw one the other day and just stopped and said, without thinking, “hello master.” It seemed like I was addressing my teacher. A bit surprising to say the least, so I decided to look up grasshopper. Grasshopper’s keynote is “uncanny leaps forward” and its message is “trust your inner voice.” (check, check, check!) Back to roadrunner. Wait until you hear this part, “The road runner is actually a ground-dwelling cuckoo.” (Some of you knew that!) “Mentally, you will find it necessary and easier to stop, shift, and then run in another direction if necessary.” Pause, go slow jo, slow down, listen, and Freeze Frame (from Heartmath) are the messages I have been getting for a long time. Thank God for a journal! This works! And I love the conclusion: “Individuals with the road runner as a totem are always thinking. It is sometimes hard to follow their train of thought, but if it can be slowed down, they can show you connections and stimulate ideas you had not thought possible. Their minds are always at work.”

Now that I have more fully allowed love into my life, it seems that my mind is just going faster and faster. There are so many creative wonderful and loving thoughts and connections in my head that I now have no option but to just stop and let them go. Give them to the Divine Mind, “Here, you figure it out and get back to me. You are so freaking creative, I know it will be awesome!”

And today, I see that the connections in my mind are just like the connections everywhere. And they are all Brilliant! Sparkling! And I want to connect consciously with everyone and everything. I have always been seen as impatient and it is true! I am so impatient! I want it all and I want it now! (Those of you who know me are laughing and saying, “What’s new?” And I can just see Wally shaking his head when he told me, incredulously, many years ago, “you want to change the world!”)

Brilliance, yes. That’s what I want to be. Thank you God.

Strange Evidence of Unity & Interconnectedness

The thrasher often calls in my neighborhood – wheet-wheet, wheet-wheet. So I decided to learn more about it. It turns out that it is endangered due to loss of habitat. Buffelgrass, introduced to America in the 1930’s, has become a highly invasive species that threatens the future of the thrasher.

And it made me think about us humans. We are endangered due to loss of habitat. But we are also the invasive species. Interesting, isn’t it?

And I’m not arguing for Armageddon. Remember the movie, where those whacky drilling guys went out into space and changed the course of the meteorite so it wouldn’t destroy us! I’m coming to see that there are lots of “whacky drilling guys,” and folks from every walk of life and place on earth doing their part to change our course. Thank you all!

My Prayer

An Affirmative Prayer for Joanne’s Blog
What do you want? I would like this blog to be divinely inspired.
Are you ready to receive? (RURTR?) “Where you lead, I will follow . . .” is the song that I hear. In other words, yes.
R – Recognition
I hear a Jami Lula song, “God you are so beautiful . . . I owe everything, I am to you.”
U – Unification
“We are family, I got all my sisters with me. Get up everybody and sing!”
R – Realization
Another Jami Lula song, “There is nowhere that God is not. Everywhere I am I know what I got.” http://www.jamilula.com/lyrics.html#nowhere
T – Thanksgiving
It seems like a uniquely American holiday. The people fed us, welcomed us, we joined together in communion, to celebrate our connection. I am so grateful for Thanksgiving! Oh heavenly father, let us give thanks for what we are about to receive . . . aka Grace.
R – Release
And so it is.
Thank you God, Thank you God, Thank you God. This or something better. Amen. The closing to a Ricky Byars Beckwith song, “May our joy be so triumphant that we rest in God and say ‘Amen.'” http://www.myspace.com/musicbyrickiebb/music/songs/blessed-always-75051399

The Black Butterfly (9/22/2011)

My mind is so happy with this new “issue spotting” activity that begins my journaling. And it is very good. We can just take all these issues and let them go, release them. It is really the only practical way. There is too much for us to figure out on our own. And it is too painful to try. Ah yes, just like the hungry hungry caterpillar, the mind is so hungry for thoughts, ideas, issues, voraciously hungry. And finally, when it is full, it just wraps itself up and dissolves into a new story.

In my dreams I saw a dog hunting feverishly in a dark maze. And I recognized the scene and knew the prey. As International Peace Day ended, in those early morning hours when everything is clear, I looked deeply at myself and saw that I am wounded, vulnerable (scared) and violent (actually and passively). I am Osama Bin Laden. And the thrasher calls at this realization – yoo hoo, you who. And the heralds sound, ALL HAIL THE KING! Huh? Uh-oh, giggle, the king is naked! Of course, the naked truth – it takes an innocent (vulnerable) child to say it. And we killed Osama Bin Laden. President Obama killed him (we demanded it!)

And just then, a black butterfly appears. It flits by, returns, flits up closer to me, and then leaves. A Black Butterfly. So this is the magical conversion you have offered me (I am so weary of the term “transformation”). My friends have returned – all my relations. Thank you. And Shayla, the young Native American girl who I visited with so many years ago at Black Tail Ranch, Montana, comes to me too. This is what I agreed to, isn’t it? Sharing (translating) your stories. I agreed to do that. Now I know what it meant. The way to share your stories is by living them. Living them. Living them. Living them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

There are Many Paths (9/21/2011)

There is a place we all seek and there are many paths to get there. On my journey I have taken three paths: the path of truth, the path of despair, and the path of love.

The path of truth may have begun with my love of Perry Mason. It took me many wonderful places, including Stanford Law School and allowed me to go inside the bar (court) and inside the bars (prison).

The path of despair (fear) was perhaps given to me, by my ancestors. I seem to have always known it. It led me to many terrifying places but also to a 12 step program and to other people and places who helped to ease my pain.

The path of love is probably part of my DNA, who I am. This path led me to Jesus, to the altar, to being a mother, to self love and to ecstatic encounters with all of creation.

So, would you like to know what is at the end of each path?

The path of truth ends in a place of not knowing.
The path of despair ends in a place of surrender, of giving up, of letting go.
The path of love ends in a place where the only thing left to do is give – everything.

And so, I just settle in, make my home here, and begin living.

The Lord’s Prayer

1662 Anglican BCP

Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.

[For thine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.]

Woodpeckers, Whales, and Elephants – oh my

“Oh what a night.” Instead of awakening through the night with mean thoughts and judgments, nice memories or thoughts came to mind, effortlessly. I really can choose a different way. Thank you God.

And then I got up and went to check my email, hoping for some word on all the emails I sent and posts I created yesterday. And there was still nothing. (Except for my Uncle Carl, bless his heart – really.) And my inner voice gently told me that this was fine, and this was good. I was free now to express myself. Self-expression, yes. That’s it.

I had left a link open yesterday afternoon so that today I could listen to samples of chakra soul songs (http://www.healingwiththemasters.com/) by Jennifer McLean. As I played the first chakra sample, I did feel the energy. Then I heard a woodpecker begin drumming away, then it moved to a new spot, then another, it just began pecking all around the house – to me it seemed to want to get in – it was attracted by the music. I had to go open the blinds and stare at it for a few seconds before it quit pounding on the house and flew away.

I was already planning to look up information about whales in my Animal-Speak and Medicine Cards books because that energy had been catching my attention. So, I decided to look up woodpecker too. Maybe it was telling me to buy the chakra healing music. The last line in Animal-Speak was the answer to my prayers and such a gift: It is now safe to follow your own rhythms.

Then I looked up whale in Medicine Cards. Wow. I won’t repeat it all here but it was very self affirming. For example, “Many Whale medicine people are able to tap into the universal mind of Great Spirit, and have no idea how or why they know what they know.” It also suggests I find my “own unique cry or call.” My first idea is to sing “Joy” kind of like om. I already know the note because a while back I made a little song using the letters from my name – Joy lOve Awe woNder uNity and peacE.

And elephants! http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=2549 Here’s the link for the KarmaTube video called Elephants Never Forget. You have to watch it to understand. I cried. Especially when Solomon, Shirley’s trainer, talked about being the one who was able to take the chain off her ankle and set her free. And then again when I got to see Shirley and her old friend Jenny back together after 25 years.

I too am set free and I too have reunited with my old friends – all my relations. And I am Joy. And it is now safe for me to tell you.